Death At A Funeral (2010)

If you want to know about a funeral that brings families together, watch his flick. This comedy reveals the saints and sinners, angels and devils, the sane and insane. A man has died and this is probably the only occasion where so many members remember each other. Some of them bring smiles to our faces; others make us frown deeply.

As I said a man has died; however there is this skeleton that has just popped out of the closet when his ‘lover’, Frank, reveals their affair—and it is not at all pleasant as his lover is a man and a dwarf, and he demands a sum of $30,000 or he will show Aaron’s mother his photographs. Blackmail is in a funeral. In my opinion, this dwarf is a devil from hell; a devourer sent by Satan himself, just when Aaron Barnes (Chris Rock) is trying to have a child and buy a house. Yet Aaron’s brother, Ryan, doesn’t seem to help out at all.

Speaking of Ryan (Martin Lawrence), this guy is a writer, and so pompous that he insulted a fleet of economy class passengers as a first-class passenger. Yet it is revealed that he himself is ‘broke’ and so cannot even contribute to the costs, and always makes promises that he cannot even deliver. This guy makes so many jokes without humor. I sometimes wonder if it is even worth calling him a brother if he distances himself from his own kin. I hate this guy.

Aaron Barnes, this guy cracks me up with his personality. But there are some faults with this guy. Firstly, how was he so stupid to leave his novel on a coffee table if it was not yet ready to be read? What happened to commonsense? Second, Norman tried to stop him from bringing the catatonic Frank to the bathroom where Russell was, ahem, taking a dump. Yet Aaron could not think of anything better than to rebuke Norman for letting Russell use the bathroom. Why don't you try carrying Russell upstairs when he is in a wheelchair and has to go immediately?!

Several incidents happen during the funeral, and I wonder if the actor in the coffin suffered real injuries. There is this guy named Oscar who unwittingly takes a Valium pill laced with LSD and suffers from its effects. He is already hated by a few and already faces more reprisals when he knocks down the coffin. You have to be frank: the reactions were unanimously fierce, but Aaron’s was hilarious. He throws several angry words and always makes mention of celebrities (pop culture), here and then onwards. And when Frank blackmails Aaron, Ryan opposes him as though it were wrestling. You cannot miss this!

Then there’s Uncle Russell (Danny Glover): he is grumpy and unapproachable. His nephew has just died and he wants to see this funeral through, but does not see this as normal. He does make his effort to throw much more humor in this movie, but one scene I would not like to remember is this toilet scene. It is overly extreme and revolting, but Norman does make a genuinely shocking reaction. I do not even want to think this stunt was real.

The acting was not atrocious, just comedic. But certain moments made me think that they were real and hazardous, all to make the characters’ reactions as real as possible. Several renowned actors plus a decent script makes this movie somewhat enjoyable to watch.

Hitman (2007)

After watching this flick with a clearer head, I believe it is time to re-evaluate my review. As a movie based on a video game, it is safe to say that it does not completely suck.
This movie revolves around an assassin, genetically engineered and raised throughout childhood to their best. He bears a bar code on the back of his head, and is given a number instead of a name. This is evident in the games.

Agent 47 (Timothy Olyphant) is the assassin in question; he is heavily successful and very elusive to the authorities--he is called a 'ghost' as he has eluded authorities for three. He has just completed a task in Niger Republic and is reassigned for an assassination of a Russian politician, Mikhail Belicoff. However the task is complicated as it appears a double was killed instead of the intended target. Now he has been set up and is on the run from the Russian FSB and Interpol.

This movie has its share of excess bloodshed, even for a 15-certificate, but it must be contradictory to the games which had less bloodshed. Although uncalled for, such violence is not so frequent.
I don't want to sound strict but some of the acting was stiff. The actors were trying to stay in character, but they ultimately failed to show emotions at appropriate moments. Their dialogue also sounded out of place with the situations at hand, and as if they forgot their lines as a result of language barriers.

It looks apparent that Agent 47 was bred to be a cold-hearted killer, but has shown a soft side for women, as evidenced by shots with magazines focused on the fairer sex. So that explains why the director Xavier Gens decided to include Nika (Olga Kurylenko) in this movie: her sex appeal must be the catalyst to drilling emotions into 47.

I can vouch that critics were derisory towards this movie, but that did not stop this movie from grossing its budget. To be fair I think it can be rated by the audience as one of the best video game movies of the 2000s.

Valentine's Day (2010)

What do you do when you jam-pack a wide range of actors into one movie? Give them a story before they come together at the end. We watch several characters experience Valentine’s Day in their own perspective, including the children! So what does movie revolve around? Infidelity, sexual encounters, heartbreak, passion, disappointment, loneliness. It is as though we are being reminded of the hurdles of real people on Valentine's Day. Several stories are separate and unrelated, but a few converge at the end as though to favour the story of one lonely, pathetic soul who hates Valentine's Day.
In all one viewer cannot keep up with several unrelated stories; not to mention characters' attempt to make some laughs only resulting in a sour taste. This movie builds up to moments which most viewers with a brain cell would avert: silly dialogue, desire for media attention, teenage escapade, children's experience and 'knowledge' of Valentine's Day. This movie basically paints a negative picture of Valentine's Day.