Baby's Day Out (1994)

Can anyone ever withstand a story of a baby who is kidnapped by possibly the dumbest and most inept gang of crooks in New York City? Anyone with a soul surely has to drink to stupor to watch this travesty to numb the pain in their heart and head. Who can ever find this movie funny? Has anyone ever watched a cartoon and thought of the realities behind the dangers that translated into the real world? I don't think the director or screenwriter ever took any of that into consideration from the beginning. They thought that if cartoons were the rave, live action movies could benefit from the insanity as well.
John Hughes has been synonymous with slapstick, crotch jokes, disregard for health and safety and pitfalls, comedic devices that range from pain and hilarity from such. This is the comedic genius who often never learns the meaning of jumping the shark or pushing it. This is a man who pushes aside substance and charm in favor of overtly sick pleasures and self-satisfaction. He is clearly the type who tries to turn cartoons into live action, which even a toddler is aware is painful.

00:00 - 02:47

The opening credits are embedded with a book, one which is clearly custom-made for this movie alone; thus this movie is not based on any source material.

02:47 - 12:47

The only distraction to this movie is the adorable baby boy himself. Unfortunately his adorableness is drawn away to his godawful-looking mother, and I swear she looks as if she knew this movie was going to tank. She just shows poor composure and gazes dreadfully at her baby. Gosh! She looks like a defective animatronic Muppet, and that's saying something. She is reading this book to her boy, and I wish I was lying, the boy can understand the story very well. He isn't up to one year of age and he seems so drawn to the story so deeply. But don't forget the father: he too looks so indifferent that I myself couldn't care less about him whatsoever.

Something's wrong as we can see here. The father intends to hire a photographer to showcase his son in the media. Coincidentally the very studio he intends to hire is being mobbed by a gang of child abductors who switch their identities. The baby boy is named Bennington Austin Cotwell IV. He is a child to a rich couple, and has been short-listed for ransom.

I am just glad that there are three other grown-ups to look after the baby, but the tragedy is that when the man of the house leaves the women here act irresponsibly in front of Benny, like a baby! Throwing clothes onto the ground proves how mannerly and mature you two grown women are! I;'m sure if he can read a book he can memorize your messy habit. And to add more insult to injury, they fail to check the house for any lose windows or doors, or check if they had ever booked an appointment for a photography session prior to Mr. Cotwell's departure. I mean, isn't this typical of a butler who works for a rich family whose child is prime target for kidnappers?  If I can recall earlier, Mr. Cotwell did not inform anyone of this upcoming session yet the butler assumes that he did. How unprofessional.

And by the way, this movie presents the baby to be so intelligent that he kicks one of the crooks in the crotch. Ouch. Adorable but painful.

After that brief shot, I shall question myself as to whether these morons ever cared about a baby boy because despite their position as homeowners, they never object but comply with the request to leave the child alone with the frauds. They just stare blankly into space without saying a sounding no. I wouldn't ever leave my baby alone with complete strangers at all!!!

12:47 - 22:47

This is what they do: too idiotic to care for, I just couldn't even be bothered to know their names. They do not listen for the screeching tyres or the ruffling in the living room. What were they thinking??!! And when the do return to the living room, their reactions are so suppressed and bland that they do not show it whatsoever!! A baby boy has been abducted and yet they just stand there in gross indifference. What the f***!!!

Who writes like this? This is kindergarten collage art.

So these morons have to kidnap a baby up til midnight, and they can't even tender him. You have to admit, these guys just weren't equipped for this scenario at all. And by the way, you have to get used to the actors gazing awkwardly into the camera while doing so into the baby. It looks distorted and discomforting.

And speaking of discomforting, the baby is the only one enjoying the pain inflicted on these schmucks while the audience, who is expected to find this funny, is not. And if you thought a drop of hot milk wasn't enough, the two start hitting each other as if that wasn't painful enough. And it is also confirmed that they a illiterate, thus the collage ransom note. How can anybody take these knobheads seriously?

22:47 - 1:38:51

For the rest of the movie, it just boils down to child negligence and visually painful scenarios that any real human being can never enjoy as comedic. There are several cases where in a city of five million, any average Joe would ring an alarm when a child goes crawling around without adult supervision and is in unsafe territory. The baby seems to be the only intelligent character that makes us stare in awe but stare at the adults in admonishment. Dislikeable and indifferent characters in this movie who clearly look like vapors are worth chastising. And to turn a distressing situation into a comedic one has to be a gross mistake.

Diary Of A Wimpy Kid: Roderick Rules (2011)

 

Apparently the same formula from the first film has just been used: a kid goes to school, faces many hurdles there and at home, and just ends up in various predicaments. But this time, he has a crush on a new girl named Holly Hills, and he wants to make a connection with her.

 

This movie is almost the same as the last one; the only difference is that Gregg has a new teacher, who happens to know his brother Roderick. Of course when "Heffley" sprang up, the teacher reflected on his last pupil Roderick and likened Gregg to his carbon copy. So as it appears, it is the case in this movie where Gregg gets into trouble in this session unlike the last time, proving this teacher's expectation. For instance, Gregg stupidly rewrites Roderick's flunked assignment, without reading it himself! Secondly, he is caught passing a note around to Holly, only for it to reach his adversary Patty Farrell.

 

Gregg jests on how he wishes he could give them away--typical imagination of a boy whose own flesh and blood are evil and mischievous. He not only has to put up with Roderick's antics, but also with Manny's. In fact, Manny is so innocent in his mother's eyes that she pampers him a lot because of his age.



So if it is not Manny's damaging Gregg's games console with a cookie, it is his clumsy handling of a chocolate bar which Gregg unknowingly sits on. And to make matters worse, Roderick exposes this as a "poop stain" by dragging Gregg's sweater, and Gregg himself does something so gross that he renders this scene as the most disturbing in the movie; so disturbing that mentioning it is woeful enough! It is after causing such a scene that Susan chastises them, but does so in several different locations. Was she doing so more than once, or was her reprimand shared over several scenes?
And if that is not enough, there is this scene at a retirement home where Gregg accidentally runs into a ladies' room in his underwear; when he is caught as a peeping Tom (urgh!), he is pursued and grabbed by the old ladies! That is nasty! I bet the boy actor wasn't acting at all after that ordeal. Besides, no child is keen on such physical contact at all.



And how about this scene at the talent show? I guess the audience can show who deserves the most applause. I myself would prefer the magic show by Rowley and Gregg, because Patty Farrell's was just unbearable. I know her to be arrogant and brash, so for her to dress up and sing like some renowned artiste (genre indeterminable) is completely dubious. But her performance makes her more talented than "Loded Diper's". These guys' songs are as gross as their name (appropriate enough); their song "Exploding Diaper" stinks, literally and metaphorically speaking, yet they just don't know when they jump the shark.



Along with the adventures Gregg and Roderick embark on, there are several disagreements which suffice when the secret house party is unravelled. It can be sad to see how two warring brothers finally get along with each other, only to be back to square one. Of course this is also the part where Frank and Susan (the Heffley dad and mom) blow their fuses. It must be hilarious to watch them flare up when their sons disgrace the family image (even though the two themselves pretty much do more than the boys, in the presence of their guests!).



Did Roderick really think changing the door instead of painting over the subtleties of the movie Roderick Rules was smart? I think Gregg should have spent more time in the basement and searched for the white paint. If it comes to covering up anything to implicate them of breaching their parents' trust, Gregg is more proficient at it than Roderick.



Fun times occur at school, and at home. At least Gregg and Rowley do not have to sit on the floor in the canteen. But I just saw other kids like them in the previous grade suffer the same treatment. I guess that is the regime at school.



How does Gregg make himself popular? He conjures up this "invisible Chirag" joke, by pretending that Chirag is non-existent. I have got to admit, he would make it into the school year book as a class clown; that definitely fits his status.



Adventures occur, ups and downs happen. This movie operates on the same formula as the last one. The only real consolation is that we can listen to a selection of music that fits into certain scenes of the movie. There are hilarious moments and disturbing moments. A child could watch, but an adult could dismiss it.

Diary Of A Wimpy Kid (2010)

Who wants to explore the life of a kid in middle school? I don't think anyone does because of a large scar in their past experiences. Moreover, this movie revolves around some kid, the narrator, who goes through middle school from first year. Watching him on screen and listening to him is just as arduous as having to carry the burden on one's own back.

 

The kid named Greg Heffley, is the middle schooler in question. He feels to be the only one who understands the system and can somehow make himself popular. However, it is obviously predictable that along the way he is not going to look like one of the exceptional few, since his antics often backfire on him in favour of someone else. He has a best friend called Rowley Jefferson. He thinks he does not have what takes to make it through middle school and so tries to step him up to his level. But it becomes apparent that nothing works his way; he only makes Rowley a popular kid.

 

There are several scenes in this movie which any viewer must surely dispute:

·         Shirts vs. Skins: after Fregley shows off his unsightly mark on his torso, I don't think a game consisting of two aforementioned teams is a must-see. Coach Malone, why don't you recommend armbands or bibs!?

 

• Rowley's broken arm and Greg's insensitivity: so Greg throws a football and injures Rowley. Rowley has a broken arm and wears a cast, spawning his all-new popularity. Greg thinks he should be accredited for breaking Rowley's arm--downright cold and insensitive he is, especially when he doesn't apologize for it!

I guess this guy doesn't need a Halloween mask to scare the kids!

 

·         What sort of school has lavatories with no door for every cubicle? This is a blatant disregard for privacy.

 

·         The slice of cheese on the school playground: what person would not clean it up? I could not even imagine a caretaker shrug his responsibility like that. It is his job to take out the garbage. Who came up with that idea?

 

And by the way, a majority of these kids are not real actors, but ordinary kids just brought in as extras. No wonder their acting was downright flat and emotionless.

You know, Greg thinks Rowley is not ready for middle school, but after what we have seen it is Greg who is not ready. Rowley has shown his ascension above Greg in the popularity chart, and how Greg's insensitivity can push him lower in the chart. However, things do change along the course of the story as circumstances transpire.



There are a number of other characters which I personally shall not discuss: Roderick, Greg's elder brother; Patty Farrell, a girl bully; Fregley, the weirdest kid in school; Frank and Susan, the father and mother of the Heffley family. They have their own moments, but such moments are really embarrassing to an adult who watches. In short this movie has moments we might have gone through in our own schooldays but are more than willing to forget.