Can anyone ever withstand a story of a baby who is kidnapped by possibly the dumbest and most inept gang of crooks in New York City? Anyone with a soul surely has to drink to stupor to watch this travesty to numb the pain in their heart and head. Who can ever find this movie funny? Has anyone ever watched a cartoon and thought of the realities behind the dangers that translated into the real world? I don't think the director or screenwriter ever took any of that into consideration from the beginning. They thought that if cartoons were the rave, live action movies could benefit from the insanity as well.
John Hughes has been synonymous with slapstick, crotch jokes, disregard for health and safety and pitfalls, comedic devices that range from pain and hilarity from such. This is the comedic genius who often never learns the meaning of jumping the shark or pushing it. This is a man who pushes aside substance and charm in favor of overtly sick pleasures and self-satisfaction. He is clearly the type who tries to turn cartoons into live action, which even a toddler is aware is painful.
00:00 - 02:47
The opening credits are embedded with a book, one which is clearly custom-made for this movie alone; thus this movie is not based on any source material.
02:47 - 12:47
The only distraction to this movie is the adorable baby boy himself. Unfortunately his adorableness is drawn away to his godawful-looking mother, and I swear she looks as if she knew this movie was going to tank. She just shows poor composure and gazes dreadfully at her baby. Gosh! She looks like a defective animatronic Muppet, and that's saying something. She is reading this book to her boy, and I wish I was lying, the boy can understand the story very well. He isn't up to one year of age and he seems so drawn to the story so deeply. But don't forget the father: he too looks so indifferent that I myself couldn't care less about him whatsoever.
Something's wrong as we can see here. The father intends to hire a photographer to showcase his son in the media. Coincidentally the very studio he intends to hire is being mobbed by a gang of child abductors who switch their identities. The baby boy is named Bennington Austin Cotwell IV. He is a child to a rich couple, and has been short-listed for ransom.
I am just glad that there are three other grown-ups to look after the baby, but the tragedy is that when the man of the house leaves the women here act irresponsibly in front of Benny, like a baby! Throwing clothes onto the ground proves how mannerly and mature you two grown women are! I;'m sure if he can read a book he can memorize your messy habit. And to add more insult to injury, they fail to check the house for any lose windows or doors, or check if they had ever booked an appointment for a photography session prior to Mr. Cotwell's departure. I mean, isn't this typical of a butler who works for a rich family whose child is prime target for kidnappers? If I can recall earlier, Mr. Cotwell did not inform anyone of this upcoming session yet the butler assumes that he did. How unprofessional.
And by the way, this movie presents the baby to be so intelligent that he kicks one of the crooks in the crotch. Ouch. Adorable but painful.
After that brief shot, I shall question myself as to whether these morons ever cared about a baby boy because despite their position as homeowners, they never object but comply with the request to leave the child alone with the frauds. They just stare blankly into space without saying a sounding no. I wouldn't ever leave my baby alone with complete strangers at all!!!
12:47 - 22:47
This is what they do: too idiotic to care for, I just couldn't even be bothered to know their names. They do not listen for the screeching tyres or the ruffling in the living room. What were they thinking??!! And when the do return to the living room, their reactions are so suppressed and bland that they do not show it whatsoever!! A baby boy has been abducted and yet they just stand there in gross indifference. What the f***!!!
Who writes like this? This is kindergarten collage art.
So these morons have to kidnap a baby up til midnight, and they can't even tender him. You have to admit, these guys just weren't equipped for this scenario at all. And by the way, you have to get used to the actors gazing awkwardly into the camera while doing so into the baby. It looks distorted and discomforting.
And speaking of discomforting, the baby is the only one enjoying the pain inflicted on these schmucks while the audience, who is expected to find this funny, is not. And if you thought a drop of hot milk wasn't enough, the two start hitting each other as if that wasn't painful enough. And it is also confirmed that they a illiterate, thus the collage ransom note. How can anybody take these knobheads seriously?
22:47 - 1:38:51
For the rest of the movie, it just boils down to child negligence and visually painful scenarios that any real human being can never enjoy as comedic. There are several cases where in a city of five million, any average Joe would ring an alarm when a child goes crawling around without adult supervision and is in unsafe territory. The baby seems to be the only intelligent character that makes us stare in awe but stare at the adults in admonishment. Dislikeable and indifferent characters in this movie who clearly look like vapors are worth chastising. And to turn a distressing situation into a comedic one has to be a gross mistake.
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