Greg Heffley is back for the third time, and things seem to be the same as before. However, this time a majority of the movie takes place during the summer holiday and Greg seems to have plans to spend it. This is one movie that showcases a typical teenager's plan to spend his or her vacation, mostly indoors and negligent of their own health. Just like the last movies, this one boils down to a non-existent plot and uninspired writing even a child could not even devise. And by the way, the visuals department must be so in love with primary colors: first red, then blue and now yellow.
Okay, this has to be creepy. They tried it in the previous movie and now they do this again, without thinking if this will creep out the kids and adults alike. Thank goodness it was never attempted in the first film.
One minute into this film and something else more disturbing has to suffice. Greg and his family visit a public swimming pool for recreation. Greg adheres to the best advice Roderick has to offer: "Remember. Move fast and keep your eyes down." Isn't this what children were expecting? A gross scene of grown men and teenagers in the changing room, hairy and hairless. I wouldn't even compile a photo of that for this blog. This scene alone is worth cutting from this film. If Susan had three daughters, this scene would be worth savoring in the movie.
So it is time to watch a mass of sun-seekers to frolic in the pool, after that disturbing minute in the changing room.
Gee, doesn't this look familiar? Reminds you of one other movie, Percy Jackson & The Lightning Thief (2010). I mean, this has to be the calmest zone to sink into.
Speaking of Roderick, that guy has never learned his lesson from the last movie. He plays his music so loud that it is worthy of being sanctioned for causing disturbance in a peaceful environment. He has to reassess himself if he ever wants to be a hit with girls of his age.
It has been the usual habit of the three movies for the title card to actually appear after a sequence of events showing Greg's trial and tribulation. That's completely pointless seeing how he seems to think about passing the wrong message to children and teenagers alike. In this case, he thinks it is wrong to enjoy summer in the outdoors where nature offers its best to sustain human development, and instead sitting in front of the TV playing video games non-stop is the way to go. I'm sure all teenagers are like this in the modern world, but I would be hypocritical.
\In this movie it is now about spending more time with his father instead of with his brothers, particularly Roderick. Greg and his father Frank have nothing in common and so wouldn't spend the vacation to the maximum. However that is not the only plot point in this movie: just like the last movie, Greg still has to make a connection with Holly.
Did I somewhat forget to mention that Karan Brar and Peyton List appeared in the same Disney sitcom Jessie? This is the second movie where they both appear together.
This kid has the usual habit of talking aloud to himself--too soon. This is a classic case of thinking he knows more than others when in fact he just slapped himself silly. He thought no one brought their books to school when in fact they did. Although I do have to agree: the pupils were moaning as if they were not expecting this, yet they were prepared for it in the first place. Did they learn of Greg's ego throughout their years in the same class so that they would play this prank on him? I guess so. Greg's ego is as big as his head.
This freak here Fregley has a strong affiliation for owls. I wouldn't be surprised if he turns into the Nite Owl from Watchmen (2009). But seriously, who brings a stuffed owl to class yet alone to school? I can understand toy day, but this? I wouldn't think this is normal at all.
I may be British but I wouldn't actually conclude that this is how American schoolkids swarm the hallways after the last day in school. This movie is probably berating schoolkids the wrong way. There is obvious continuity error: the stampede was very dense, but near the exit the stampede suddenly dispersed.
I don't know which ones worse: his elder loser brother, his embarrassingly overactive father, or overly protective mother at the school front in the presence of scores of children.
Are you kidding me??!! Not only did the three title cards receive primary colors but three kids each wears a primary colored shirt, in the exact order of the films in this series. The director must have been in love with primary colors.
As if his constant monologue wasn't enough to endure, his message is repeated for this scene. He reiterates that outdoor exercise is a bad idea as opposed to indoor video-gaming. He thinks he can deceive everyone who has already observed his unwholesome routines.
This is one blatant cliche of a character who spends ample time playing role-playing games in darkness to react like the monsters within the game with such aversion to daylight that they hiss. This is a not-so-subtle message that video games are bad for you, especially R.P.Gs. Talk about self-contradictory messaging. And Roderick seems to have the same habit from the last movie to lie around perpetually without a thought of what to do for the summer to reinvent himself.
Seriously? Greg has an X-Box yet the game he is playing has graphics that resemble the graphics on PlayStation 1 and 2 in today's standards? Okay, given that this is an X-Box and not its successor X-Box 360, I think I would allow that. But checking online, I have discovered that wireless controllers were not available for the X-Box; so what is this system anyway?
Frank Heffley (Steve Zahn) is characteristic for overacting. Anytime he oversteps the mark, his eyes must surely pop out of his sockets as if possessed. And the TV just go blank after pulling the AV adapter? That doesn't work: he has to pull the power socket before that can happen.
Susan has a pep talk with her man-child husband of hers. This dialogue sounds like a rehash from earlier on; recycled if I must say.
Okay so after all that Greg and Frank try to go on one fishing trip, which doesn't go so well. Greg is evidently not the outdoor type when it emerges he is agitated by the sight of worms. Abnormal as it sounds, he acts like he hasn't seen earthworms in his life! What sort of kid is this?
As if time with his father wasn't unsavory for him, his time with his mother wasn't any better. Should I point out that Susan has no time for friends of her own to share on literature? It is expected that she should spend time with those who are more than bothered to read books that have no pictures and are oriented to the older minds. When Rowley mentions his vacation, Greg has no other option than to accept his invitation.
Inasmuch as I would find this tedious for a teenager, I would find this recreational pastime worth involving myself in in order to spend more time during the summer. Yet Greg seems so introverted towards his father's activities that the video game console seems to be the only thing he devotes his time to, as if it were his idol.
Let me just jump to the point. Right now Greg finds Holly Hills and, to his worst nightmare, Patty Farrell. Greg still never learns the meaning of honesty when he claims to think Wii Virtual Tennis is the same as real tennis. Rowley is the only one who cares to be more open, but not Greg. But if you thought that was revolting, that was just the beginning. Greg continues to make the most unbelievable lie in the movie series: he claims to have found work at the country club of which the Jeffersons are members. 'Greg finds paid employment at a country club? I smell a rat' doesn't ring any bells at all. A minor is actually employed? That sounds fishy. Yet this does not immediately arouse suspicion. By the way, is it really that difficult to actually play tennis? It isn't as difficult as striking a baseball with the bat!
I know what you are thinking: why is the movie subtitled Dog Days? It has been over thirty-one minutes and there has not been one mention of a dog. Couldn't the studio devise a better subtitle, or just none at all? Even if the Heffleys bought a dog, it wouldn't play much importance in this movie as if it were building up for the emergence of an important character or event. In fact, the dog isn't even an important character in this movie at all, so why would I even waste time talking about it?
Roderick isn't short of suspicion over Greg's deceit and uses that as leverage to sneak into the country club without invitation. In the meantime, he wants to make a connection with Heather Hills, Holly's sister.Is it me or do the Hills have an affiliation with alliterations with the letter 'h'? Heather is a stuck-up, self-centered sixteen-year-old with an ego as hot and intense as the earth's core. Her appearance further degrades 16-year-old girls as such with bad behaviors.
Okay, there is one sub-scene where Roderick fakes his drowning in order to attract the attention of the obnoxious Heather Hills. But while she is busy hacking off a young London Tipton lookalike little girl, Roderick is subjected to a mouth-to-mouth from a grown man. I would have that scene deleted due to obviously disturbing visuals. Poor Roderick.
What kind of cell phone is this?! I'm the only one who constantly thinks the Heffley parents are the weirdest couple on the planet, aren't I? They can afford an X-Box system but do not fork out for a real cell phone? I'm beginning to wonder if fate has been so cruel to him all this time, even if it has always been so cruel to him from the beginning.
So Greg goes on vacation with the Jeffersons. I would think this as his alternative to languishing with his own family but soon it turns out it is more discomforting spending time with the Jeffersons under the same roof, in the car or on an outing. So who's weirder: the Jeffersons or the Heffleys? Take your pick.
OK. I'm not going to spare you anything here: the Jeffersons lick from the same ice cream cone in turns. WHO DOES THAT!!!??? Better skip this scene!
Well the only upside to this vacation is a visit to this theme park, generically called "Amusement Land".
But aside from the visit in the amusement park, Greg has to endure continual "anguish" from the Jeffersons. Looks like the blanket has been pulled up when Mr. Jefferson finds out for himself. No more vacationing with them anytime soon, Greg.
Looks like Mr. Heffley here has just subjected himself to unnecessary torture by walking around in the gayest pair of trunks to ever exist. I mean seriously, this is the third time I have had to ask myself who manufactures fictitious merchandise of this kind even in this make-belief universe. There were towels available for him yet he subjugates himself like a total pushover. How did this happen? The high diving board incident: afraid of heights he lost focus and ended up losing his trunks on the edge which was inevitably torn off. Need I go on? I don't think so.
Initially they had nothing in common. But when their dog gets them into a pickle, that's when the whole idea changes. Remember that worn-out blanket they nicknamed "little teenie"? It belongs to Manny and regardless of its state it must never be disposed of. but the only way to retrieve it is to lure the dog "Sweetie" (misspelled "Sweatie" by Roderick) with a pot roast, which only complicates matters. Yes, apparently dog saliva heightens the taste and texture of pot roast, even if it sounds extremely gross.
I just want to get to the very end of the movie where Roderick makes so much of a fool out of himself and his trashy band at Heather Hills' "sweet sixteen" after her DJ abruptly cancels on her. I just hope that if his debacle in the last movie meant nothing to him, then this one wouldn't even if he was videotaped for YouTube. But sadly I have to wait much longer for more antics during the camping trip. This trip is the only opportunity for Greg to convince his father to reconsider his decision to send him to Spag Union Preparatory School. But the best thing to note is that several supporting characters, especially Fregley, who always made frequent presence in the last two movies are reduced to infrequent presence in this movie. In this camping experience, at least the kids congregate to disgrace some drill sergeant who discredits Frank Heffley. The humor is juvenile but is intended to disgrace the bully.
Finally we reach the 1:18:35 mark where Roderick showcases his utter self-disrespect at Heather Hills' sweet sixteen. You're in for that treat, one that renders the last one tamer. As I have already mentioned, Heather is so arrogant that she makes the ceremony all about her and no one else, yet negates herself but denounces others as selfish. One thing I had always had to endure is one bad thing that churns out something even worse, and this scene alone churns out two of the worst characters ever. Roderick and Heather were just meant to be. Everyone gazes in disbelief, and no one is seen holding a camera to video record the craziness for YouTube. Roderick goes insane onstage and wrecks the scenery for the sake of trying to impress his love interest. I wouldn't even show my face in public if I were the idiot with the mic! This is one epic disaster! Both for the best and the worst.
I am just relieved that this movie is the third and final installment of the franchise. As I have already pointed out, this is meant for kids, who experience typical hurdles of summer vacations and family bonding. As for adults, it's just messy and chaotic. Even with a horde of child actors, this movie at least shows how some are just poor while others are solidly convincing. I wouldn't recommending it for adults, but it would suit any child who needs an idea of a blissful vacation.
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