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So we are shown the opening credits to the film, after which we see our heroine prowling the ruins of some temple or whatever. Whoa, she makes her appearance just as she does in the video games. Terrific! But then, she is intercepted by some machine--where did it come from? Who sent the robot? We do not know but just watch Lara (Angelina Jolie) retaliate as it wrecks the place. You have got to love her as she delivers her role perfectly. It's just what a video game movie needs.
Whoa! Hold on. Did she just command that robot to stop? Well, it appears that it was all just a training session. Better yet anyway.
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You know, I really relish the moment she dumps her modesty, even in front of her butler (James Hillary, played by Chris Barrie)! Now, this is where I think the dialogue sounds pretty offensive considering that she flaunts her modesty and her femininity.
After that intricate moment in her mansion, we are taken to another location in Venice, Italy, where a congregation are concerned with something to do with the planetary alignment. Now listen to all this dialogue and see if you can actually digest all the jargon. Oh, this congregation belongs to the Illuminati--notice that pyramid with an eye in it.
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We now jump back to the mansion, where Lara discloses her fear of the 15th. Why? Two coincidental reasons:
- Her father, Lord Richard Croft (Jon Voight), died May 15th 1985
- The planetary alignment happens on the same day at the time of this film being made.
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And get this flashback: it operates at slow-motion--what for? Does it build up tension to the very point where it gets suspicious? Sorry, but this is not the only moment as we will see more unnecessary use of slow-motion. Well, the flashback awakens Lara because of an old clock that keeps on ticking. Wait, a clock hidden in a bale of hay behind a wooden panel, can make enough noise to attract her attention? Sorry, I don't buy this. But hey, why gripe about it?
(Oh and a little note: do these English persons only profane with the term, bugger? I mean, is that the only thing that comes to mind? How about trying something different.)
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You know, for a movie based on the Tomb Raider series, I myself would be expecting some heart-racing action instead of sitting through endless boredom.
Lara has a mysterious relic resembling a clock or something; yet she seems to be unable to learn of its significance with the alignment.
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So after that sequence of boring events, Lara's quietude is broken as her mansion is raided by Alpha commandos. Finally we get the action we paid money to see. Let's get the video game in this movie already! It's really invigorating to see that the raiders have a hard time trying to shoot at Lara as they jump around on bungee harness.
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Things get even tighter when they attempt to steal the relic clock. One of those moments, possibly from the video game itself, is relived as she mounts a motorcycle and flies sideways executing an assault on the adversaries. Purely marvelous.
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Oh, and turns out that the Illuminati are responsible for the intrusion and theft from the Croft mansion.
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As with video game movies, we hear more pointless dialogue. After that, Lara receives mail from somebody supposed to be her father. We get a message of her father which tells us of impending doom which Lara must prevent. (Is it me or do all these American actors do a half-decent job of forging English accents? Even Jon Voight has made his third attempt in doing so. Couldn't they get real English actors to play their counterparts properly?)
So Lara flies to Cambodia where she must find the first half of the triangle. In the other end of the location, you've really got be kidding me when you see how little or no effort is being put into tearing down the temple doors. But Lara has found a less torturous entrance to the temple. (Are you suggesting that these dimwits did not search for an easier route to the temple that Lara just found? They must be pretty oblivious and always preferred the hard way to doing things.)
So Lara ventures into the temple and, as she does in the video games, faces perilous booby traps and slippery climbs, all before making it to the centerpiece of the temple.
So after that perilous adventure, we get some more cheesy dialogue as Alex West (Daniel Craig) makes a pretty erratic excuse for a countdown. (You know, I don't know how he manages to keep the pacing even despite frequent interruptions from every source. How does anyone work out the mechanics of the alignment.)
So when Lara convinces them to release the key, she successively unlocks the hidden piece of the prize. Unfortunately, this, for unknown reasons, awakens stone statues to life. You know, some of the statues can suffer damage from fire arms; but the main statue just won't take a hit form anything, except the rocking beam with a spike at the front! Right! Who would have thought of that?! This is definitely typical of a video game scenario.
And in order to get away, Lara jumps into a waterfall. Yeah, even without knowledge as to whether it was safe or perilous.
You I know, we could all do with more of Lara Croft in the shower and then walking naked in the room; but NOT with Alex Wood doing the routine! I mean, the maidservant's reaction to that would be exactly how one of us would have reacted. We certainly don't need that at all.
So Lara and the gang make it to the ice land of Siberia, Russia, where they are on a hunt for the second half of the triangle. And then she come across a mysterious girl who knows of her intents--I think she is the same one from Cambodia who always appears and disappears in scenes.
So they venture deep into the icy ruins, only to find what appears to be the obstacle course from a TV game show, Wipeout. Seriously, who came up with this idea? This is not suitable for a video game movie.
You know, I have no idea as to how the planetary alignment has anything to do with acquiring power over space and time. (Again, another image of planets in alignment, not at a correct scale so that they all appear to be close to each other. Defiance of astrology.)
This is where Manfred Powell (Iain Glen) begins to annoy me so much: throughout this movie, his pomposity, making himself sound like Lucifer all the time, talking like a man with power so that Lara would always comply with him at desperate of times, really gives me a headache. At least Lara, due to the short amount of time to manipulate time itself, is able to finally give him his comeuppance. Good riddance to bad garbage.
However, that is short-lived as Manfred and Lara duel it off the final time. You know, I find this guy to be a big coward: he uses all of his brute force to assault a woman, but doesn't even have the guts to beat up a man without using guns or knives. Pathetic. At least he died from mortal wounds.
So she with her huskies makes her quick exit from the ruins as they crumble. But, without giving us any scene where Alex Wood reunites with Lara as a sign of her well-being, we suddenly jump back to her mansion. That was just abrupt. And why were Bryce (Noah Taylor) and the butler shocked at her wearing a dress? Guess they haven't seen her wear one before. At least we end with her doing what she does best on her training.
(Oh and a little note: do these English persons only profane with the term, bugger? I mean, is that the only thing that comes to mind? How about trying something different.)
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You know, for a movie based on the Tomb Raider series, I myself would be expecting some heart-racing action instead of sitting through endless boredom.
Lara has a mysterious relic resembling a clock or something; yet she seems to be unable to learn of its significance with the alignment.
.png)
.png)
So after that sequence of boring events, Lara's quietude is broken as her mansion is raided by Alpha commandos. Finally we get the action we paid money to see. Let's get the video game in this movie already! It's really invigorating to see that the raiders have a hard time trying to shoot at Lara as they jump around on bungee harness.
.png)
.png)
Things get even tighter when they attempt to steal the relic clock. One of those moments, possibly from the video game itself, is relived as she mounts a motorcycle and flies sideways executing an assault on the adversaries. Purely marvelous.
.png)
Oh, and turns out that the Illuminati are responsible for the intrusion and theft from the Croft mansion.
.png)
As with video game movies, we hear more pointless dialogue. After that, Lara receives mail from somebody supposed to be her father. We get a message of her father which tells us of impending doom which Lara must prevent. (Is it me or do all these American actors do a half-decent job of forging English accents? Even Jon Voight has made his third attempt in doing so. Couldn't they get real English actors to play their counterparts properly?)
So Lara flies to Cambodia where she must find the first half of the triangle. In the other end of the location, you've really got be kidding me when you see how little or no effort is being put into tearing down the temple doors. But Lara has found a less torturous entrance to the temple. (Are you suggesting that these dimwits did not search for an easier route to the temple that Lara just found? They must be pretty oblivious and always preferred the hard way to doing things.)
So Lara ventures into the temple and, as she does in the video games, faces perilous booby traps and slippery climbs, all before making it to the centerpiece of the temple.
So after that perilous adventure, we get some more cheesy dialogue as Alex West (Daniel Craig) makes a pretty erratic excuse for a countdown. (You know, I don't know how he manages to keep the pacing even despite frequent interruptions from every source. How does anyone work out the mechanics of the alignment.)
So when Lara convinces them to release the key, she successively unlocks the hidden piece of the prize. Unfortunately, this, for unknown reasons, awakens stone statues to life. You know, some of the statues can suffer damage from fire arms; but the main statue just won't take a hit form anything, except the rocking beam with a spike at the front! Right! Who would have thought of that?! This is definitely typical of a video game scenario.
And in order to get away, Lara jumps into a waterfall. Yeah, even without knowledge as to whether it was safe or perilous.
You I know, we could all do with more of Lara Croft in the shower and then walking naked in the room; but NOT with Alex Wood doing the routine! I mean, the maidservant's reaction to that would be exactly how one of us would have reacted. We certainly don't need that at all.
So Lara and the gang make it to the ice land of Siberia, Russia, where they are on a hunt for the second half of the triangle. And then she come across a mysterious girl who knows of her intents--I think she is the same one from Cambodia who always appears and disappears in scenes.
So they venture deep into the icy ruins, only to find what appears to be the obstacle course from a TV game show, Wipeout. Seriously, who came up with this idea? This is not suitable for a video game movie.
You know, I have no idea as to how the planetary alignment has anything to do with acquiring power over space and time. (Again, another image of planets in alignment, not at a correct scale so that they all appear to be close to each other. Defiance of astrology.)
This is where Manfred Powell (Iain Glen) begins to annoy me so much: throughout this movie, his pomposity, making himself sound like Lucifer all the time, talking like a man with power so that Lara would always comply with him at desperate of times, really gives me a headache. At least Lara, due to the short amount of time to manipulate time itself, is able to finally give him his comeuppance. Good riddance to bad garbage.
However, that is short-lived as Manfred and Lara duel it off the final time. You know, I find this guy to be a big coward: he uses all of his brute force to assault a woman, but doesn't even have the guts to beat up a man without using guns or knives. Pathetic. At least he died from mortal wounds.
So she with her huskies makes her quick exit from the ruins as they crumble. But, without giving us any scene where Alex Wood reunites with Lara as a sign of her well-being, we suddenly jump back to her mansion. That was just abrupt. And why were Bryce (Noah Taylor) and the butler shocked at her wearing a dress? Guess they haven't seen her wear one before. At least we end with her doing what she does best on her training.
It seems I can see why critics were not positive towards this movie: not only is the plot hard to swallow, every other character apart from Angelina Jolie, fails to deliver. They try everything to add humor but fail, only to give us something to frown at. As I observed before, they seem to rush the whole transition from one location in the movie to another without sustaining a flow in the movie. But nevertheless, the video game aspect of this movie is intact and is worthy of its box office success.
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