Doom (2005)

The plot of Doom (the video game) revolves around the invasion by demons from hell, and the malignant efforts to drive them away. This all happens on Mars. Simple and straightforward. All this happens as an accident during an experiment in which a gateway is manipulated between the two moons, Phobos and Deimos. This gateway is how the demons came to invade Mars before preceding to Earth. Simple and straightforward as it is appropriate for a game that is so titled.
This movie, however, dwells on a virus which 'selectively' infects its hosts; turning them into vicious killers in the process. This all does take place on Mars. But I still have to question what the title really means when watching the movie. Were we to expect impeding doom on the earth, or just a series of silly excuses for video game simulations?
Let's begin anyway. So as usual we have a prologue (could you, please, make it audible for us, already?!). We are informed beforehand that there was a portal in the Nevada desert that leads to a lost civilization on Mars. It is said that no one knows why it is there or what happened to the people who built it. Well that was short and coherent.
So we cut to an aerospace station on Mars--after the Universal title card which shows Mars instead of its trademark earth image--and we zoom into where the horror is unleashed. As we can see, one by one each scientist is devoured by an unknown dangerous being; and what have we here, too? One of the doctors, Dr. Todd Carmack (Robert Russell), seals himself in a secure lab leaving one of the distressed scientists outside to be preyed on by the monster! How heartless! Just look at how he acts: he treats her like she's the monster. How unbelievably cowardly. During the relentless pursuit of the monster, he sends his message before getting done away with.



We progress into the camp of the Rapid Response Tactical Squad (R.R.T.S.) where we meet out main cast:

• Destroyer (Deobia Oparei)
• Mac (Yao Chin)
• Goat (Ben Daniels)
• Portman (Richard Brake)
• The Kid (Al Weaver)
• Duke (Raz Adoti)
• Sarge (The Rock)
• Reaper (Karl Urban)

They have been drafted in as response to the distress signal from Mars. And I do have to be frank: the repetitive computer voice is so irritating when it verifies the user ID of each and every soldier in the aircraft; "Handle ID" this, "Handle ID" that. It gives me such a headache.


They are taken to the Ark where they are then transported to Mars in seconds. You've got to admit it is pretty impressive. But not impressive if you see what would make you laugh or cringe: another character on Mars, named Marcus "Pinky" Pinzerowsky (Dexter Fletcher), appears to have lost his lower part of the body (his legs and his <ahem> posterior!) as a result of past turbulence during the transportation. Implausible, right? And is confined to an adaptable wheelchair, similar to a Segway. We also run into one of the UAC scientists, Samantha (Rosamund Pike), who is John "Reaper"'s sister.

It is from this point on that you get to see how ghastly their facial expressions are at some point, as well as their acting and dialogues, especially coming from Portman.

(You know, for a movie based on the video game of the same name, you never see anyone shoot from a first-person view, unless you are in the place of Pinky who happens to be viewing from the camera installed on each of their guns).

You can see the moments where the surviving Dr. Carmack is shuddering, or overacting, as though he is so scared of a fellow person, including a woman, who is trying to help him. What's with him and women?!

And there is Portman; how idiotic does he ever look when he grins and chuckles at times. It's so freaky, isn't it?

Oh yes. There is another guy called Goat, a "devote Christian" (?) who, after 'taking the Lord's name in vain' incises himself in the arm. Really? So he punishes himself for taking His name in vain? Sorry, dude. That doesn't resolve the matter.

Now back to Portman and The Kid: they find a naked woman, who turns out to the woman from the beginning of the film who lost her lower arm, and she is a monster chick. Hey? Why is she naked anyway? What's the point? And what does Portman report to Sarge?
"I think we found the rest of that arm."
What a funny way to answer.

You know one other thing: on top of the over-the-top acting by Carmack, the camerawork is also badly managed, including where they unnecessarily zoom in on his quaking mouth movements. Who needs that?
And get this, too: a monkey is found to be in a vent, and what do they do? Kill it with a machine gun! Talk about killing a fly with a bazooka! L.O.L.! They do not consider if it was infected or not! That would be pretty controversial.

But that's not as disturbing as what you're about to find out! Get this: whenever a monster attacks with the jaws, it fuses its tongue into the flesh as means of spreading the virus. I mean, whoa! That is immensely gross! And if at all you can see the monster, it looks like it's been in the sewer for too long, if you know what I mean!

With the first victim Goat down, you can just see more flimsy camerawork. It's so shaky in the scene where Goat is being defibbed. And again, we get more of Portman's sappy dialogue; and yes, when Sarge gets as serious as the impeding crisis, Portman should shut the hell up! He's so annoying!
While the RRTS are searching the vicinity for monsters, we come back to the lab. There, we see what is left of Goat's humanity as he tries to kill himself--and look how bizarrely he does it. I do not know what he continually runs into til he falls to his death. There is nothing visible that he impales himself with.

Here's another joke--a toilet joke! Portman wants to take a dump at a time when monsters are out and about wreaking havoc in the base. I hope he doesn't make any more mess when the monsters get him! And I certainly hope he cleans himself up afterwards.

And for a man called 'Destroyer', he certainly does no effort to destroy a monster that catches up to him and wastes him.

And just when you think things up here could not get any more bizarre, it is revealed to us that the virus that infects its host in the base, "chooses" whom to mutate into a monster and whom to enhance into a superhuman. It is said to respond to its host's behavior; and that is what determines how the virus manipulates the gene. Can't chew on this? No one can.

They all return to earth, and this is where things really get messy. The Sarge now is firmly obliged contain the infection by any means possible, even if it means to kill every living thing that walks. Doesn't this sound familiar? (Does 28 Weeks Later ring any bells?) Now Sarge, from this point, kills like a soulless psycho,  including The Kid, who happens to be on his first mission! W.T.F.!
And look what else is messy: the infected humans on the earth base, the zombies, just demonstrate their bad acting; and don't forget Sam's incessant screaming. You can tell from her horrified face how bad she makes the situation look. Moronic, more like.
Alright. After that grim travail, we finally reach the core element of the Doom video game: the first-person shooting. Why did it take so long to happen?! The very essence of the video game and it happens near the end. And again, it's the funny moment where monsters start coming for you instead of the person who is actually welding the weapon; and there is even one monster who welds an ax, another welds a chainsaw. This is where we have (un)intentionally hilarious moments. Sadly that has to end has we now revert back to third-person view; Reaper finally recovers Sam.

But there is now a final standoff, between Sarge and Reaper. It appears Sarge has also been infected, but hasn't turned into a monster. How come? Nothing is explained, and then we get a fight scene you would normally expect to find in Street Fighter or Mortal Kombat but not in Doom. But wait; why are they actually fighting in the first place? Do they have a bone to pick with or something?
Well, none of that is revealed to us; but we do see what happens eventually. The infected Sarge is jettisoned back to Mars, a grenade is thrown into the portal through which it destroys him; and Reaper and Sam leave the facility to escape all this nightmare.

There are major issues in this movie that every other video game movie has faced. In fact nothing in the movie reflects on the title from the game. In the game the player is treated to first-person shooting as he is faced with impeding doom from hell. In this movie, we get cheesy dialogue, laughable acting form the monsters in the Martian base, and the only time we see first-person view of shooting is near the end and not throughout the movie. This was the most crucial element lacking in the movie, and we didn't get enough of it all the way; we just got characters just mucking around like amateurs.

I may have not played the video game, but as a game it is the source material for the movie. The plot was incomprehensible, the explanation was difficult to digest, even the acting was nothing more than a cheap stunt. It was almost resembles a ripoff to the critically acclaimed British movie 28 Days Later (2002). Who would actually believe that a virus could actually 'select' which host to mutate and which to grant superhuman capabilities? I don't think the script writers bothered to revise this idea before finalizing it.



And get this, animal rights activists would be inflamed to see how various animals are brutally subjected to this cruelty, all in the name of making this garbage. I even have sympathy for the white mouse! Eek!






As with other video game movies, this one is a platter of untalented actors who do not even do their best to deliver to our expectations. I mean it was even evident from the beginning that they were going to make like cardboard cutouts rather than real people. I was just waiting for each and every one of them to be decapitated without pity.





 In all, this movie was just a joke. There was no doom, the acting was sub-standard, the dialogue was questionable, and the camerawork was just crude. The only good thing that came in the movie was the first-person shooting which was left to the near-end, and even for the credits! These people left this out for the end and left us with clunky bits for the duration of the movie. Not such a good example of a video game movie either.