I have never heard of this guy, and I never will. I only watched this movie to review how it was one of the comic book movies of the 1990s that began to slide in popularity, and failed to kick-start the film franchises based on the protagonists.
I cannot be sure how to begin my review until I study his profile and understand what made him so popular in the first place. So why was this movie a gross disappointment? Well I shall begin to examine this puke. This is typical of what we read on the back of a VHS case:
"Spawn. The scarred warrior and fearless dark hero with the skills of an assassin, the warrior of an extraterrestrial army and the supernatural ability to transform himself into an extraordinary arsenal of shapes and textures. Here, Todd McFarlane's comic book hero is brought to the screen in this special edition, director's cut of the movie."
Wasn't that a load of fallacy, noting the mediocre performance at the box office?
As any critic would do, I will only fish out the bad part of this movie.
So let's begin. We have a monologue, which is what I have just paraphrased above. Then we get this brazen assault on security personnel, in a military air base at Hong Kong. This turns out to be an assassination on specific targets. Check this out, it looks pretty elaborate and over-the-top, even at the time the movie was made. I mean, computerized identity goggles just to be sure of the exact target and yet they wipe out an entire aircraft? Isn't that just excessive? What's wrong with a noble sniper rifle?!
So after that, we get the opening credits. Right now we get the credits! I'm sorry but, this is bad editing: shouldn't there be opening credits right after the monologue? You can't just insert the credits in the middle of the movie; that is just premature and distracting. But if you think that's awkward, you will have a very hard time watching seizure-inducing openings; I mean come on, are you intentionally trying to deliver subliminal messages in this section?! Keep it still already! It's not even up to four minutes into the movie and I'm already getting nauseous! Steve Williams, you are certainly a "spaz", even for a visual effects supervisor.
So after all that riveting ride, we are taken to a room where our villain in the shadow is making deals a guy in a suit. (He's in charge of an international corporation called A6.) There is something I want to ask: if you meant to keep the fat guy in the shadow, why close in on him and reveal his face before zooming out again only to keep his identity hidden? Do you expect us to forget how he looks?!
The editing is bad where AL Simmons is killed and sent to hell. Next thing we get is a pitch-black screen. Uh, hello? What happens next? We are suddenly taken to an alley, yes, right after the pitch black! And Al is alive all of a sudden. No explanation as to how he was dead one minute ago and is alive and burnt to crisp the next minute. Right. And here's something that is a little inconsistent: a woman is freaked out by Al's appearance, but a little boy, called Zack (Miko Hughes), is not. Are you really trying to toy with a child's intelligence?!
And just as your anticipation for the anti-hero to demonstrate his new found powers was held on tenterhooks, you will be left dumb-founded when you see what he does instead. Yes, he scales the rooftop, flaunting his over-sized red cape even though he is obviously under the searchlight; then we see him about to assault two security henchmen, which has unfortunately been cut out so that we do not see him unleash his prowess of fury on them at all! What a let down! This part has been deliberately watered down, for what?! Where's the good in that?! And yes, he reveals his disfigured face for most of the time, instead of hiding behind the mask--as if anybody wants to see more of that already!
So spawn finally crashes the party, and we expect him to fulfill his vengeance. How does he do this? He doesn't. All he does is make himself known to Wynn, take it all out on his ex-best friend Terry Flitzgerald (D. B. Sweeney), and run about trying to avoid gunshots. Why does he carry guns? He's hellspawn for crying out loud, not The Punisher! Why doesn't he just kill everyone he knew was responsible for his death already?! Why doesn't he just use the powers of hell to pull it off??!!! This guy is one lousy actor. Why doesn't he just fly or teleport out of the scene to evade the police?
You know, I am really getting sick and tired of all the fire-based transitions. It's too much and getting out really fast. Hey, I even resent the idea to make it look like Wynn spat fire to initiate another repetitive transitional imagery.
So Spawn returns to the alley after the events back on the real world. Oh my goodness, why does he prepare to assault Zack's father with such ferocity when he doesn't deserve it, while he couldn't even put a scratch on the very villain directly involved in his death? Gosh, he certainly doesn't even know how to use his powers at the right place, or the right time! This guy's literally dead, both in his acting and in his appearance.
Now we come to this scene in an operation theater. Why is Wynn going under the knife? He's inserting a heart monitor--for what exactly? Is he having a heart disease from acting in this movie? I guess I could say that(!) But it is revealed that it is a safeguard against his death: should he be killed, his death will trigger a series of detonations across the globe, initiating the all prepared Armageddon that has been in hiatus for five years. Now, to a normal human being, inserting such a device into a person's body is at all times foolhardy: Wynn is going to die someday, so why go through with this anyway????!!!! I mean which hospital will allow this in the first place????!!!!!
So after that scene we see Clown's true form: The Violator. So, again, how does Spawn deal with this? That's right, he resorts to firearms, yes, firearms. Is this guy useless or what?! Guns against a demon from hell!!! Pathetic!!!! He is no match for The Violator.
Even the old guy in an overcoat and hat has to talk sense into this piece of turd's head. He lives in the past and constantly thinks about Wanda all the time. Seriously, he knows he's dead; why can't he just let it go already? At least he finally jettisons the useless arsenal of firearms.
Now he chases Clown on a motorcycle. Seriously, a motorcycle, while Clown is driving s maintenance truck? Why doesn't he just fly or teleport there in no time??!!! I mean look at that, he couldn't even harness the powers into the motorcycle. This is dreadful; rewriting the character into someone more incompetent than The Punisher is surely a disappointment!
Did to forget the mention the sporadic and randomly sudden transitions that have occurred in this movie. I mean, some scenes which were never meant to be shown just show up with no purpose at all, and then disappear again. No explanation, nothing to justify their presence.
Oh for goodness sake. Spawn makes his presence in Wanda's, just after Clown does. And despite those grotesque tricks Clown demonstrates with his eyes, Cyan still doesn't seem to be moved at all, and neither do the adults!!!!
While at it, he should be able to kill Jason Wynn; but he doesn't because the plan has been revealed. But Spawn is able to remove the device from him; so does he finally kill the SOB?! NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE STILL DOESN'T!!!! WHAT IS WITH THIS GUY??????!!!!!!!
Even the showdown in hell turned out to be a complete farce. The special effects are just a clod of bile! Nothing here was exciting enough for anyone to forget the previous treatment of whip-lashing. Hell was nothing more than a theme park from a mind of a drug addict.
So after that roller coaster of nausea, Clown has been defeated; Jason Wynn is apprehended; Wanda, Terry and Cyan spend the rest of their lives as a family; and Spawn, letting go of his past, decides to defend justice in the world.
What a piece of turd for a comic movie. I wasn't enough that this movie had to shred our expectations; we already had a moment of seizure inducing opening credits, but the end credits are even worst: flashing imagery, shaking scrolls and slanting texts. What a way to tamper with our patience after a pointless, plotless movie that makes no effort to develop any of the characters in the movie, including the very titular lead!!! This is one hell of a ride for us.
Right now, I am going to review the overall picture.
Well we start with the protagonist. Wasn't he wonderful(?) Certainly not! He was blunderful. I have never seen such a sappy excuse for an anti-hero. Throughout this movie, it's been "Stay away from Wanda!". This guy was just a whelp; not something people were expecting from such an iconic character. Even the demon Clown (John Leguizamo) thought this guy was just a joke. Spawn was nothing more than a mock-up of The Punisher. I have already been studying his profile, and found out that this whole Spawn universe was watered down! I may not be a fan of this guy but if you want to base a movie on the (super)hero in question, stay true to the elements in the source material, no matter what. Don't think that every child must watch this, so that it must be rewritten for their delight.
Throughout this film, its been about a battle between heaven and hell, and the devil (not Satan!) recruited Al Simmons to be a general to lead his army. What army? Seriously, I have seen more fearsome demons in different media, but these guys looked like party animals instead of the soldiers of hell! I mean, look at the realm: it did not look like the kingdom of darkness; it looked more like the jungle book to me! And speaking of the devil: every time he spoke his mouth never moved but looked as though he has lockjaw! Even my sister was derisory towards this movie; it was laughable to think that this was going to be a thrill.
For minutes upon minutes, we were expecting Spawn to at least show some character development. But no, it's been "Wanda" this, "Wanda" that. Rather than just move on and accept that he is already dead and [forgotten], he does not even show us the potential of the powers he possesses; he just uses guns, and only flaunts his cape on brief moments. Despite his vengeance against those who orchestrated his death, he only kills the female assassin but not Jason Wynn himself. Pathetic. He wasted his chance to kill the very perpetrator behind his death by just tossing him around like a cushion and not executing him.
He was said to have superhuman strengths, so why the BS did he not use them against his adversaries, or to accomplish his vengeance? This was the essence of character development. I have seen his bio: he was supposed to demonstrate his new-found powers on screen to outsmart his adversaries, including the police. But to our dismay, even the police outsmart HIM. In fact, it is mentor that does the job for him.
And just one question about this five-year-old Cyan: is there nothing on this planet that could frighten her to death? Really. When she first sees the disfigured Al Simmons in her backyard, how does she respond? She asks him "Want some candy?". Doesn't that ring any bells? (Think back to Predator 2.) She acts bold and unmoved whenever anything unusual encroaches, even if it threatens her parents! A five-year-old with a heart of steal?! You must be joking!
I have also learnt that the animated series, Todd McFarlane's Spawn, remained more faithful to the comics: it contained strong and extensive use of profanity, sexual scenes, and, most essentially, graphic violence. So if an animated production could bear all these elements, why not the movie? Was this movie more interested in attracting the wider audience, including the young ones, hence diluting the whole plot, than staying true to the source material? Well, I must be straight. I am not somebody who can say anymore about this geek. As a newcomer I expected more from this guy and as a result of this failure, I shan't even give a toss about him.
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