Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen (2009)

Two years after the events of Transformers, Michael Bay brings us another blockbuster to the big screens. This time, the Autobots have new allies to add to the pack--and so do the Decepticons. Unfortunately it is the same formula recycled into this movie: human characters take up the running time, which is longer than it was in the last movie.

So here Sam Witwicky is going to college, and the Autobots have formed an alliance with the humans to form NEST to hunt down the remainder of the Deception forces. But it sounds like the Transformers are waging war on earth for no apparent reason since the Allspark has been destroyed. So why are they still here? Well as the story evolves, it emerges that the need for "energon"is at its greatest demand--and the Decepticons never leave their leader behind even in his death. But this plot point takes a very long time to evolve as we have to watch Shia LaBeouf ham up his screaming like a stereotypical damsel-in-distress, gibber repeatedly as a result of the All-spark being absorbed into his mind, and make a complete embarrassment of himself in the lecture theater. As if that is not enough, we have Sam's mother blow her blood pressure at the house after household utensils are inadvertently converted to feral Decepticons with a shard from the Cube, and then run amok at the college after eating some cannibis. All these scenes contribute to a longer running time, and a higher probability of an audience member sleeping off in the cinema.

And there is this student, Leo. Throughout this flick he makes like a freaking whelp who finds himself entangled in the mayhem with Sam and his friends, even though he has been on the case of unraveling the existence of the robots in disguise. If I may suggest, he has had several chances to walk away from this movie but does not do so. I mean this guy does not make any significant contribution to the group on any occasion; even Seymour Simmons finds him completely unreliable and tazes him one on scene. Thank goodness!

One thing we want to bear in mind is that nobody wants to give a toss about some poor soul in college, just the story surrounding the alien robots and their ravaged world. And why must Bay add more insults to injury with at least four examples of testicle jokes?

·         In the college dorms where one or two roommates mention "the balls sack" and "sucking the sack"

·         In the aircraft museum, where Leo accidentally tazes himself and jokes about "how many times you have to be tazed in the nuts before you can't have kids"

·         In the Egyptian desert, where Mikaela lands on Leo's crotch after Jetfire's rapid transport via the Spacebridge

·         On the Great Pyramids, where Devastator's two wrecking balls resemble his "testicles".

I thought this is a 12 certificate movie, and this filth just does not fit in at all. Tiresome and unclean as it sounds, I would not pay to hear this rubbish.

And let me recall the story. It is long-winded and takes so much time to get straight to the point. So if I got this, a Decepticon wants to activate a machine to blow up our sun and harvest the energy from it in the form of Energon. But the only way to turn on this machine is to find the key called the Matrix of Leadership. But this key is not exactly in line with the source material because I remember clearly that the Matrix is passed from one Autobot leader to another--and had this been the case, I believe there would have been no need to go through the trouble of looking for it in Egypt, only for it to turn to dust in the "Tomb of the Primes"! I mean seriously, this scripts so full of loopholes that one would be bewildered as to whether it was cross-checked thoroughly before the movie was ever green-lighted.

And before I forget, the subtitle to the movie is Revenge Of The Fallen. I expected the Decepticons, including Megatron himself, to be the fallen ones seeking revenge. But the real twist to this story, as explained by Jetfire, reveals Megatron's "master" to be the Fallen. I was completely bemused by this revelation and wondered whether all that exposition was just to throw us off course.

So I must be frank, watching this movie on DVD can be challenging due to the excessive writing and nearly incoherent storyline as a result. Michael Bay has decided to degrade some characters and add annoyance to the mix. Though we still have the heart-stopping, blood-rushing action scenes like before where the robots beat each other up with their missiles and lasers. And just like the first movie, we also watch heavy rampage and destruction in the beginning and the end of this flick, as well as in the middle. The movie minus the humans equals live-action robots excitement.