Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004)

  It was implied that a sequel was in the works. So after smashing the box office despite mixed reactions, Resident Evil (2002) convinced the director to press ahead with this sequel Resident Evil: Apocalypse in 2004. So what is so new in this movie that surpasses expectations of its predecessor? I can confirm that it just recycles the same plot devices from the movie before it and has made no improvement whatsoever.

The movie is currently 1 hr 33 min 48 sec, and it is just as if they were more interested in replicating the writing from the last movie so that the whole action can take place in a wider location. Isn't that ad nauseum?  

Opening credits roll; three studios are involved in this movie. We are informed of this twice. The opening screws with the Umbrella insignia for the fun of nothing.

So this move does what Spider-Man 2 (2004) would have done but slightly amends it: narration of previous events in case viewers are not familiar. The main problem is that it does no benefit to those who watched the previous movie, or to those who are not familiar with the first movie or the games it is jointly related to. Nobody wants to be reminded of what happened before, it just makes a movie unnecessarily long and boring. As a matter of fact, Apocalypse could have been the first movie with the narration being a prologue to the whole sequence, and rendered the need of the first film pointless. The bottom line is that they thought they survived the horror, but were wrong.  I guess The Red Queen's precautionary measure was hopelessly futile.

So after that bore, we cut to Raccoon City. "It is 6:10 a.m. and is 92 degrees Fahrenheit (33 degrees Celsius).  There are clear skies and a light breeze coming in from the west." What a load of tripe. This is far too inconsistent to take seriously, even in a heatwave. It is around six and already it is a bright, sunny day? Nonsensical this is.

So beneath Raccoon City a team of forensics are investigating an incident in the Hive. They certainly picked a convenient time to do this just after the commandos were decimated. They scan the area and discover that the survivors are on a run from the monsters. Unfortunately, the one with a wrist computer just does not know how to coordinate his comrades without leading them into danger. What a toss-up.

So it is typical of every movie that has to keep us up to date: we jump from the underground to the surface of Raccoon City. We witness a procession of vehicles. It is said to be cliched that a series of black S.U.V.s implies that the occupants are antagonists, and the antagonists belong to Umbrella Corporation.

 Umbrella have come to pick up Charles Ashford and his family due to the outbreak from The Hive. I just want to be honest, in the year 2004 it would be cool but uneconomical to have holograms on windscreens.

Ashford's daughter has just been picked up from school, just before a truck plows into the SUV she happens to be in. Who lets this git drive a truck without safety concerns? It is pretty bemusing that this guy does not adhere to the highway code, or at least use common sense! He doesn't even stop to acknowledge his fault and check for any survivor. On top of that, the streets were deserted and none was there to witness the avoidable tragedy. Nobody can survive this crash.  And how did this one lose track of the other S.U.Vs that were in a procession? Did these guys not have a hi-tech G.P.S. to keep each other in touch or something? 

So as the snapshot shows, it was thirteen hours before the story evolves. Scores of killings occur, as the outbreak has spread beyond the Hive.

It looks like Lara Croft the Tomb Raider has decided to intervene in the crisis. But it is Jill Valentine who dons the garb of the heroine, and she shows how accurately she shot her targets in the head, even though it was shown before that these crazies were in the hands of police officers whom she could have shot too. And how did she work out that they were infected when everyone else does not? And how does she always get a clear shot when her target doesn't stay still and a nearby victim is caught in a crossfire? 

Can everyone say that it is implausible for Umbrella Corporation to have built a gateway in only thirteen hours?  I have just managed to record an outbreak from The Hive and can say that it has spread throughout Raccoon City in just thirteen hours. BUT IT IS NOT SAFE TO SAY THAT UMBRELLA COULD BUILD A LARGE, FORMIDABLE GATEWAY IN LESS THAT 24 HOURS!!!! This would take days to ensure it does not collapse under the pressure of an exodus! Given the fact they had not known about it beforehand, they would not have enough time to contain the flow of people escaping the madness! I'm exhausted.

As it shows, anyone who keeps their head alert will be bemused that Umbrella can achieve this in such a short space of time. This schematic makes the Raven Gate bridge, and the city itself, look smaller than were depicted earlier.

 Why could they not have installed more scanners to clear those uninfected? It would have saved time and reduced the incidence of congestion.

So now a pack of troopers are alerted for reinforcement. Unfortunately a side story cuts in, and we have to watch the part where a woman is pursued and bitten by the bio-hazards. Remember the scene in the previous movie where someone was trying to input the codes to open the door, only to be food for the bio-hazards? Well, this one made it into this movie, as if it served any purpose. She could not possibly be pressing these buttons while at a side of the keypad and under attack from the monsters. The helicopter troops catch her in distress and reluctantly proceed to aid her even though she did not signal them for help. As a result of this inept decision to disobey a direct order, they go to her aid only for her to throw herself to death.

So this sub-scene is, in one word, pointless. (Spoiler) It is just a pretext to throw some more unwilling participants into a real-life video game scenario. But why did the helicopter just abandon them when there were no more bio-hazards on the rooftop?

So now we are back at the security checkpoint on Ravens Gate Bridge. An infection has occurred when a man was unchecked. The Umbrella security see this as infection, yet they do not kill him to stem the progression. I thought they were trying to contain this infection. Yet they take no swift action. It is just like the last film where Rain (Michelle Rodriguez) was bitten three times, yet the infection only manifested towards the end of the film. No one killed her to save themselves the trouble later. Again, Peyton was just bitten by the guy and no one killed him to stem the infection and continue the evacuation. Now Umbrella has contained everyone in the danger zone. This measure is no different to the measure The Red Queen initiated in the last movie. Why don't they just deploy tear gas to disperse the crowd while they're at it?

 No, you prick! You didn't do anything to stop the spread. Valentine did all the work but not enough. The infection doesn't spread fast unless in gaseous media. It was easy to contain, you dunce. 

 Miraculously Ashford's daughter survived the crash and now he is determined to find her. So how does he do it?

 His daughter is Angela, and Charles want to activate some kind of locator. Conveniently, he was smart enough to do this now the city is beleaguered instead of earlier on when it was quieter. Dude, your timing sucks! Unsurprisingly, he can hack into every camera in the city, and his computer can display 3D models of buildings in various districts. Again, similar to the last movie.

So it looks like Alice has been wandering around this city for however long it took since daylight hours. Thankfully she finds a motorcycle parked outside of a supplies store. Now she can dress up more decently and arm herself against further threats. I am not kidding here, she finds guns and dresses in the same store. I am really bemused by that: there is no store on the planet where guns, which are highly dangerous, can be sold in the same store as harmless commodities. And just like the last movie, she suffers from seizure-inducing flashbacks. Does her torment ever cease?

Meanwhile, Valentine and co hide out in a church, of all places. It is convenient, again, that a journalist, Terri Morales, is part of the group so that she can film the whole incident and have the whole world know what Umbrella are responsible for. Let's hope she lives on to claim her credit. However, they hear some kind of sound and Valentine has to investigate.

As you can see this reverend is nothing more than a vile bastard. His sister is "sick" and he is feeding her. Also, he appeared from nowhere even though the room as only one door and no access to a room next to this very one. Seriously, Valentine did not see this guy at all before the bio-hazard in the chair. Again, this is the same nonsense that prevailed in the first movie. As if that is not headache-inducing, the reverend tried to protect his sister from a gunshot but is then bitten by her. Does this guy show no straight priority at all?

Bio-hazards have converged on the church. But to any real person watching, how were they able to know where the living were hiding when the living ones were nowhere in sight of their adversaries? It looks like coincidence is commonplace. It appears that the protagonists are in the midst of the hunter bio-hazards. There's three of them, all enhanced with better C.G.I. They are now able to partly borrow the infrared vision from the Predator movies. And by the way, I am pretty familiar with the ridicules over the cliched thunder flashes that prevail when danger lurks, even though it is poses risk of seizures.

Perfect timing: just when the group runs out of ammunition, Alice crashes into the scene to save them. But what prompted her to come here in particular? And where and how did she build a ramp outside of the church to crash in through the window? I'm not impressed by this stunt.

Remember the last movie where bullet flights were enhanced with computer animation? It looks like the director was heavily inspired by The Matrix (1999) for its "bullet time" and so implemented this concept again. So is it a finishing move? Yes, for the hunter was killed when the motorcycle was blown up. But one is down and two remain, so that was a maneuver too soon. And even though Alice kills the remaining two monsters, Valentine shows the worst kind of gratitude. What a bugger. She and her gang were out of ammo and meals on feet, yet she does not thank Alice but demands an answer with the foulest attitude that even Lara Croft would not exude. 

So now that is out of the way, we now cut to a moment of comedy in the midst of mayhem. This guy is Lloyd Jefferson Wade, L.J. for short, and unlike Peyton he is just the African-American stereotype this movie needs right now (does Anacondas: The Hunt For The Blood Orchid (2002) ring any bells?). And in this scene he is distracted by a couple of "zombie" strippers and crashes his car. As if he's never seen tits before, and is turned on by the tits of the bio-hazards.

Suddenly we cut to a scene of carnage. Some of Umbrella's soldiers and the police are fending off a hoard of bio-hazards, and in your mind you would be unimpressed by the way they are handling the situation. Fire at will until your ammo runs out, yet you can still throw a knife with dead aim at the head. They let their guard down and are almost gunned down while the enemy is shot. Seriously, how can you get a clear shot without killing one of your own? They realize the hoard is overwhelming and only retreat after further shooting at them with fruitless outcome.They can throw a knife into the head of the bio-hazard but they cannot aim their firearms for the head.

 The gang have just made it out of the church and walk through, get this, a graveyard. And just when you thought that was inane, guess what happens next. 

I don't know why this scene was allowed in this movie. These are actual zombies, not bio-hazards. Bio-hazards are a result of the infection by the T-virus, and T-viruses can only infect a living or near-dead host, not a wholly dead one. Plus they were buried in a cemetery, whether in a coffin or not. So this plague should not happen at all. So in this random scene, zombies pop out of the ground and slow motion adds more annoyance. Plus there are fight moves carried out on them that, if you have been paying attention, shouldn't kill them at all. Yet it takes several kicks to them instead of a neck twist, a head chop, a blow to the head, a knife to the head, or a bullet to the head. If it were up to me, I would delete this scene entirely.

So now Umbrella have picked a hell of a time to liberate their project, "Nemesis". So what do they hope to achieve with this monstrosity? I do not know.

This guy decided to bring Yuri along, even though he was bitten earlier. Why do these airheads bother with deadweight and them have to trouble themselves with killing him when he mutates into a bio-hazard? I guess that's human nature. It is a running trait in this and the previous movie.  

When L.J. was outside the sniper almost kills him but manages to kill the bio-hazard. So why do these guys point a gun at L.J. as if they were oblivious to the incident outside?

At least L.J. kept himself armed, but did not shoot his adversaries earlier on. However he was at the police station prior to the outbreak, and those weapons would have been confiscated when he were arrested. So where exactly did he acquire his 'custom' firearms?

 This monster, codenamed "Nemesis", is impregnable to sniper rounds, and sniper rounds are very deadly. Yet the S.T.A.R.S. (Special Tactics And Rescue Squad) think that they can blow him away with rifles whose rounds are comparably weaker. L.J. was right to castigate them. 

The real flaw that seems to prevail throughout this movie is the fact that anyone with a firearm can get a clear shot of their target, even if it is obscured by an unintended one and without regard if the weapon is accurate or not. The "Nemesis" is no exception even if L.J. kept still throughout the assault since the weapon is large and unsteady.

It's a good thing that postures can tell Nemesis whether the enemy is a threat or not: put your hands and guns up, the target is a minimal threat; drop the guns and keep your hands up, he is a zero threat. (How I wish ED-209 from RoboCop could compute that.) L.J. lives on.

 So now we jump back to our main protagonists. They receive a phone call from Dr. Ashford, who has been watching everyone in the city fighting against the bio-hazards. He has spent so much time looking on these cameras but has not been able to figure out how to retrieve her daughter, until he strikes a deal with these individuals. How does he know who to trust anyway? They later learn that they must evacuate from the city before morning to avoid "sanitation", which involves decimating Raccoon City with a nuclear missile. Umbrella then plans to cover up the infection with a nuclear meltdown, which I think would make the nuclear missile completely pointless. Must they add more nuclear destruction to nuclear destruction?

 You speak the truth, Valentine. 

I recall Peyton was bitten. Now we do not have to worry about him turning into a bio-hazard because he is killed by Nemesis. Some how I do not see why Alice should even try to face this monster since he is bigger than her and makes bullets look like mosquitoes. And by the way, just because Alice "barely feels human" does not mean she can leap into the air as if lighter than previously.

It is revealed that Umbrella were experimenting on her and so were anticipating this pursuit. Stupid as it sounds, they sealed the city and then allow the outbreak to exacerbate; they liberate Alice from the clinic, and then Project Nemesis for the love of experimentation. I believe that Umbrella were doubtless uninterested in the safety of the citizens of the city, but were more inclined to press ahead with their research. This is just the whole essence of the plot. No story. Nothing new. Nothing innovative.

So after that trivial pursuit, we now cut back to Valentine and Terri. It turns out that Peyton is a bio-hazard, as if killing him before the onset of infection wasn't effective enough. 

Meanwhile, we jump again to another scene with Nicolai and the other guy. They happen to be startled by a cell phone. Convenient, isn't it? 

Now we jump back to Valentine and Terri. This jumping from one scene to another is just too frequent. They run into L.J. who just always finds a way to run into anything just to keep the plot moving. He really gets around, doesn't he?

Now I have one question: I have scoured the entire city in a blackout during a siege, so how is it that the cameras and the network are still functional? Ashford should not be able to do this even if his computers are supported by backup generators.

So this van, parked outside of Raccoon City Junior High School, was carrying canines. So how were these dogs infected when the virus was not airborne? Do the bio-hazards bite on them, too? I wouldn't even imagine that. And there is no way that the bio-hazards would be intelligent enough to tear down the cages, grab the canines to bite them, and then put the cages back.

So Valentine, Terri and Wade scour through the school. Valentine goes alone while Wade and Terri go together. At least there is finally some suspense as they stay alert for anything hostile, but as usual it's just a farce. Wade ruins the suspense before the bio-hazards lunges at him.

Next Terri tries to check on a child, who turns out to be a bio-hazard. And then out of nowhere, she bumps in a hoard of more bio-hazard children. Just like the last movie, they enter the room unannounced as if they were waiting and unnoticed.

Now Terri drops the camera in perfect position to film the carnage she is subjected to. The camera was hanging from her wrist before she dropped it. It would be impossible to think that she laid it on the ground in the manner while she was swarmed by her adversaries. Now she's their meal. Cheerio, Terri.

Oh, look. There's Angela Ashford. She's been hiding behind a chalkboard all the while those things were roaming around in the school. She finds the camera Terri dropped. So was she really hiding away when her zombie classmates were feasting on Terri? There was no indication of her entering another room, so it could be that she was hiding in the very same room. 

One thing about child actors is they are usually the bad type. So we have to endure her wooden dialogue for the duration of the remainder of this flick. 

So Valentine says "Angela" is a grown-up name for a little girl, and she prefers "Angie". What are the odds? 

Now Jill and Angela walk into a cafeteria, where the danger lurks. Instead of Jill to just shoot these monsters with nothing near them obscuring her shot, she just waits for the bio-hazard canines to lunge at her. On top of that, these "human" bio-hazards do not even lunge at them at the very second.  Conveniently, Nicolai happens to have them shot, even if he almost shoots Jill down by accident. Again, poor coordination.

<Sigh> This bonehead was too busy chatting up Jill when another bio-hazard canine lunges at him. Despite the littered chairs and tables, the dog was able to charge at him without making a sound. Incompetent and lousy. Now he is meal for more dogs.

 

This movie shows no letting up when it comes to expectations. This bio-hazard was hiding in a kitchen stove and preys on Angie who is unaware of her presence. This bio-hazard should not be intelligent enough to be hiding away in the stove the whole time, hoping to sneak up on her victim by chance. Coincidence is as rampant as the T-virus outbreak. 

With more canines swarming the kitchen, Jill turns the gas on in hope to incinerate these monsters in one place. Unfortunately, the match she lights burns out; rendering the continuous editing sequence completely futile. Fortunately, Alice happens to flick a burning cigarette end to ignite the gas. So she smokes now?

Coincidence strikes again: just like the last move, Alice discovers a cure. Not only that, Alice knows that Angela's infected, and vice versa. That's right, Angela has been carrying this canister all the while. But where did she keep it? Of course. She kept it in her satchel, even if she is too young to handle it. Now it is time for her back story, as if we care. 

I am not surprised that Umbrella were keeping tabs on Charles' activity on computer. We saw this coming ages ago. 

So Alice and company venture to the pickup point. And just as if we haven't heard enough of the T-virus jargon, Alice has to repeat the prologue we heard at the beginning of this movie. These writers would have omitted the prologue if this narration was going to be brought into the feature at this point. We do not need to hear something we already know!

So the group have made it to the rendezvous point. It turns out that Alice was on the rooftops taking out a sniper. I am confused that she could climb the building in such a small time frame; there were no scenes showing us how she managed to pull it off. Seeing the height of this building, she would not be able to do this feat, not to mention taking the sniper only to bungee-jump from the building. 

 So after that x-sport, she jumps the security patrol, who show no form of resistance and are easily taken out by her poorly executed maneuvers. They have guns while she does not, yet they just stand there like dummies. She manages to punch them, stab them in the helmet, and even rope them, as if their years of training were just a waste of time. More assault next, and it is just the same. Are their helmets so sound-proof that they cannot see or hear her coming before she surprises them? What's the point of the helmets, anyway? They are motorcycle crash helmets, and they're not even on motorcycles. They don't even need them at all.

The group finally embark on the helicopter. But just when Alice orders the pilot to take off, this Umbrella director (whose name I still do not know) shows up unexpectedly. It was shown that there was no way he could have slipped under their noses when they were looking around for Nemesis. This movie learns nothing from the last move, but continues to irritate us as if we are not paying ample attention. And in between this interval, Alice suffers from another series of mind-blasting, epilepsy-inducing flashbacks, even though it serves no purpose.

So what do they have in mind now that our heroes have been tied up? MORTAL KOMBAT!!!!!!!!!! Of course she refuses their request for her to fight Nemesis. She thinks she doesn't care until Ashford is shot in the head. But then she breaks down afterwards. How pathetic. So what was the point of this combat? Umbrella want to see who is better. So they fight, and you will have to endure more camera angles that seem to throw you around frequently. There's also poor choreography and frequent sound effects in this. It's just another excuse to prolong this movie.

Just when you thought this movie was going nowhere, we have see this beauty show empathy for the beast. In other words, it's time for Resident Evil 2: Beauty And The Beast. More flashbacks in the middle of a combat; now Alice seems to have some kind of an affection for someone from the last movie. Who is it? It's Matt, the environmentalist who mutated after that poorly-C.G.I.'ed hunter clawed him on that fast-moving train. She has a love connection with this guy and that's why she is relenting? Gross.

You know for a corporation that spends so much on research and profiteering, Umbrella can be so cheap when using handcuffs so that nobody can come up with means of escaping their capture. So somebody happens to have come prepared in situations like this. Laughable. 

So now we know your name. What took you sop long, Cain?

More wisecrack, L.J. You managed to board the chopper before the others, even though we never watched you cut yourself loose from the plastic straps.

 So moments ago she was outside about to be executed by the Matt monster (only for him to kill two of the guards beside her without killing her). Now she is running inside a building for no reason whatsoever, only to jump back outside. Was it worth the trouble so that they could destroy the glass? 

Do I really need to go on about this? Alice single-handedly takes out three of these guys with her small pistol even though they each wield a rifle. What were they waiting for?

Alice is as dumb as everyone else who holds a firearm. She shoots her arms at a helicopter even though it does little to no damage at all.So Matt has to do it himself with an R.P.G. And one thing to disparage here is that one rocket can destroy two rockets, even though it is obvious that one helicopter took the hit while the other was nowhere near it to be blasted away. So now Matt falls and burns. 

Look at that. One minute it was pitch-black, now it's daybreak already. Well thankfully the group have made it out alive before the missile hits. To cut the long story short, the helicopter is caught in the nuclear blast and is thrown out of position and crashes. Alice takes a blow in place of Angela, and is killed by a flying debris. The group has dispersed while Alice's body is recovered by a rescue team. The news finally receives footage of the carnage at Raccoon City, only for it to be dismissed by Umbrella's version of the story. 

'Three weeks after Raccoon City incident,' we now find Alice in Umbrella Medical Research Facility. It is actually her clone that is sitting in the chamber. She can remember everything, even though she is a clone and a=can defy the logic of science. She turns vicious and dangerous, as indicated by the equipment in the laboratory, and lays waste to everyone in the facility, even killing someone by staring at them through a security camera (like as basilisk). She is whisked away by her allies (Carlos, Lloyd and Jill) by convenience. Dr. Isaacs allows them to leaves, and reveals Alice to be some kind of project like Nemesis. The movie ends with the camera panning away from their S.U.V. until the earth is in view from space.

 So what can I say? This movie was cashing in on the success of the first movie and goes rampant with lazy writing, poor choreography, little to no plot, flashes that could induce epilepsy, idiotic comic relief, a lack of suspense from the games, and unbelievable frequency of coincidence. I don't know how anyone could not make improvements from the last movie and then just press ahead with ideas that we are well too familiar with, and just do away with laughable acting and a lack of coherence. Also, if it were not for these subtitles, I would not even catch the names of the characters who never told us sooner than now. Resident Evil: Apocalypse was just the beginning, as indicated by the ending. More sequels have been spawned, and more have dive-bombed in the face of critics. it was not an easy task to review this movie unless I watched and read other reviews that made this movie a critical bomb, but did not stop it from grossing at the box office. thank you, Capcom, for endorsing this movie.

This movie was directed by Alexander Witt.